obedience

the path to obedience is not always the path without difficulty or suffering........

choosing to cling this week to the freedom of submission, surrender, and self denial instead of clinging, grasping, and fretting.....

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

on waiting....

waiting - to patiently anticipate

psalm 27:14
wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage;  wait for the LORD!

psalm 37:34
wait for the LORD and keep his way and he will exalt you to inherit the land...

psalm 40: 1-3
i waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. he put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

psalm 62:5
for God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.

isaiah 25:9
it will be said on that day, "behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation."

isaiah 40:31
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

lamentations 3:26
it is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

daniel 12:12

blessed is he who waits and arrives at the 1,335 days.

habakkuk 2:3
for still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

acts 1:4
and while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, "you heard from me..."

1 corinthians 1:4-9
i give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge - even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you - so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

hope

Romans 4:18 - 5:5

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead - since he was about a hundred years old - and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. That is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness - for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and raised to life for our justification.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.


His Word is life. Thank you Lord for your unending love and hope poured out to us through your Word. It sustains and guides. We are so thankful.

thoughts on a failed placement

The temptation to not record the events of the past four weeks is overwhelming. I’d rather not have to relive it in order to write it. But as I’ve come to realize….I have lots of words and feel that it may be best if the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the joys and the cries are recorded. There have been lots of joys recorded here….lots of good….thank you Lord for the good! Lord, sustain us in the bad…..

In the middle of October we received a recruitment email from our adoption agency regarding a potential adoption placement and we responded within a short time frame as the baby was due at the end of October. We went from being one of 38+ families to one of 10 families to one of five families being willing to pursue this match. We found out a few short days later the birth mother picked our family and wanted to meet us the next day. We were shocked, overwhelmed, excited, scared, thrilled, nervous, elated….you name it – we felt it! We met the birth mother the following day and felt so good about how our meeting went. We even agreed to meet that same week again.

I came home and the wheels started turning. We needed a crib, stroller, car seat, bottles, diapers, clothes…..My sister (love you sis) jumped at the chance to come over and help me acquire the needed gear. We literally spent an entire day going from baby stores to consignment stores gathering it all! We ordered our crib and settled into the idea of having a newborn….again!

That same day as we were gathering baby gear, the first of several disappointing events started to unravel. We got a call that our birth mom cancelled our meeting for later in the week. We were disappointed and the wheels began to turn as to why she cancelled and what was going on? Was she simply not up to it or was it indicative of a change of heart for her?

The following week ended up being a time of trust being continually ruined rather than built up. Our birth mom cancelled on a meeting with her pregnancy counselor, she did not return our phone calls, and did not make any attempts to reschedule the meetings. We also were not able to get confirmation from her doctor to verify if she was scheduling or coming to her appointments. As her due date came and went, all of these events led to many red flags, which resulted in high anxiety, not much sleep, and lots of stress.

This week we did get a firm confirmation that our birth mom is not moving forward with our agency so we were thankful for some measure of closure. Closure however does not heal the hurt and sadness. Closure also does not make everything better right away. The fact is – we mourn the loss of this baby and the relationship with his birth mother.

But……God….

God is faithful and just. He is sovereign and is good. His plan is our plan and we don’t want to be out from under His love, His mercy, His guidance and His wisdom. So, we wait on Him to move us along this path knowing that there are lessons to be learned all along the way. Had our adoption journey ended here – I already see how I would have missed the chance to trust and obey more deeply in the Lord. Perhaps this failed placement was one of the biggest examples of God’s grace in our lives. This baby boy was not our baby boy for reasons the Lord only knows and for reasons we may never know. Trust and Obey.

Our first placement experience has been one that we wish we hadn’t had to go through, but I have found in my life that the lessons I haven’t wanted to learn have been the lessons that have been the most crucial for me to learn. So, I call on my Mighty God to lead Nathan and I through this journey and affirm that we are committed to following His lead, His timeline, and His choice for our family.

Psalm 18:30-31

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?

keeping perspective

Psalm 61

Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.

I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name......

Then I will ever sing praise to your name
and fulfill my vows day after day.

We are official!!

Our home study was officially approved today and our family profile is now on the Bethany site!!

We are just so excited and praying for God's perfect will as he directs us to our little one.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

The Process

I thought this post by Mark Hamby of Lamplighter Publishing sums up well a few thoughts on how God wants to grow us through a process He takes us through and how we are tempted to misinterpret His timing and His goals for us. Such great reminders for us as we travel the road of adoption. We desire to follow His will while learning the lessons He wants us to learn for His glory!

The Process  Today I was reading a devotional written by Oswald Chambers and it smacked me right between the eyes. So if you don't like someone taking a swing at you, you may not want to listen any further. If you can take it, then this is what Chambers had to say:   "Often, Christians think that if Jesus Christ compels them to do something, He will lead them to success in the endeavor, if only they are obedient to Him. If you agree, then you are in for a rude awakening; our dreams of success are not God's ultimate purpose for us. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is not of primary importance. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God often sees as the goal itself. If I can stay calm, faithful and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish-- His purpose is the process itself. God's purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience and trust are the goal, then each moment as it comes becomes the real standard of success."